In the late 1970’s I lived in Hawaii while serving in the U.S. Army, but couldn’t seem to make friends at Schofield Barracks. Every evening after work I went home to an empty apartment in a nearby town. On weekends I drove around the island of Oahu sightseeing and taking pictures, wishing I had someone to share the time with. People were everywhere, but I was alone in my own world. My only interaction with anyone was in the course of my duties with the military. For nearly the first year I just wanted to get off Oahu and go home. I was in “paradise” but hated every minute of it. An attitude developed in me, and my duty performance began to suffer. I was headed for trouble. In loneliness and desperation, I turned to the Lord and rededicated my life to Him. He gave me an instant family by bringing me into fellowship with a nearby Christian congregation. I became a member of the Church and of its singles group. This proved to be a complete turnaround for me. Intimate friendshipsWe became a close group of friends, calling each other during the week. If work permitted, we connected with one another. We never missed a Sabbath service or a church function together. A few of us usually met on Friday evenings at a local restaurant to visit over a cup of coffee. On Sabbath we gathered for dinner, and usually finished off the day at someone’s home that evening. These times were marked with long discussions about personal struggles, our falling in sin, and our victory over it in Christ. It seemed our focus was always on the Word of God and how it applied to our lives. One of my dear brothers there I usually dropped off at his home around two on Sunday mornings before heading home. We knew each other’s weaknesses and strengths, faults and hang-ups, pain and sorrow, triumphs and victories. We knew what made each other cry — and laugh. I can still feel the warmth of those relationships. Church divisionAfter my release from the Army, I tried to make Hawaii my home. But life became more difficult after my discharge, even with close friends from Church. I was unemployed for the first year, so money was tight. Then it was minimum wage jobs, then temporary work at Pearl Harbor. My health suffered from lack of good nutrition, and I developed shingles. After two-and-a-half years of this, I believed that the Lord wanted me to move on. A few months before I left the islands, our church there suffered a division in which two-thirds of us transferred our memberships to the Church of God (Seventh Day). My friends in the singles group were left behind with that division, as was a relationship I had hoped would lead to marriage, and my fellowship with them ended. To them, I had “left the church,” which also meant I had left the Lord. Of all the brethren I’d known in Hawaii, only one family was at the airport to see me off the night I left; not one from the singles group came. The memory of that division still hurts me today. It seemed to me that the Lord had made it clear that I should go. The job at Pearl Harbor paid enough to ship my car to the mainland and buy a plane ticket to Los Angeles. A friend of mine in church told me that he and his wife were planning to attend the CoG7 General Conference meeting in Glorieta, New Mexico, that summer, and he encouraged me to attend. He thought it would give us a better idea what that Church was all about. I decided to alter my plans to be able to attend.Looking back, I’m glad I went. I not only learned about the new fellowship the Lord had brought me into but also met the young lady who would become my wife. We married in 1982 and lived in Texas the first seventeen years of our marriage. Déjà vuIn 1999 we moved to Oklahoma with our three sons. Little did I know that our adjustment to a new place would present circumstances similar to what I experienced in Hawaii. Home from our first Sabbath service in the new location, my wife and I sat on our front porch and cried for the brethren, family, and friends we had left behind in San Antonio. But we were stuck: A non-optional job transfer brought us here. Still, we trusted that the Lord had been in our move to Oklahoma and that He had plans for us here just as He did in sending me to Hawaii. As we settled into regular fellowship and came to know our new brethren, those feelings of sadness and displacement changed big time! Nearly nine years later, many Oklahomans are friends and important parts of my life, as well as others as far away as India and Australia. It is no insult to the larger group when I say that those I consider close friends, I can count on one hand. They are the ones I share with the most and who share much with me. For me, this closeness isn’t just small talk or doing stuff together; it’s about getting to know each other beneath the surface as we experience the pleasures and pains of life as I did with my friends in Hawaii. My family and I have been fellowshipping at the Shawnee CoG7 for six years now. Some of those brethren have become close friends, ranging in age from early thirties to late seventies. My circle of friends is expanding through e-mail. As in Hawaii, it has been a complete turnaround for us. Now I call Oklahoma “God’s country.” We consider this our permanent home. Ultimate FriendThe most important thing I have learned through these experiences is that Jesus is my ultimate Friend. Why, Lord, do You want to have anything to do with me? As Lord, He has authority over me. As Savior, He died for me. But as Friend, He shares a relationship with me. I want the most intimate relationship with Jesus I can have. No other friend can be there for us. To put any earthly friend in His place would be idolatry. On the other hand, we do experience His love and friendship through other believers because He works through each one of us. Through His Spirit, we can have a close relationship with the friends He brings. The Lord has given me fantastic memories. Now I have different friends, and we are making memories and drawing closer together in Oklahoma and through cyberspace. He has chosen and given us to each other. I love each one of them deeply.Do you have need of a friend? Seek first the Lord and watch Him draw people to you. Perhaps He will draw you and me together! Steven Zuraff lives in central Oklahoma and attends church in Shawnee.
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